My journey into a new awareness has not been easy. I was told, “growing up is not for sissies”. Tough times still manifest on my path. The journey continues today with my trials and tests; however, I have tools now to go through them and no longer run from reality.
Finding a conscious contact with my higher power was my answer. One great benefit is that my depression, Bipolar Disorder, many addictions, and other history of abuse are no longer a concern. When I am daily in the presence of God, there is only light, joy, and gratitude. This allows clarification into my awareness. This became the basis for moving out of my mental illness, domestic violence, and dysfunctional life style. Honesty is my connection to a higher power. I got honest with myself and moved out of the darkness.
The lack of light/love stopped the flow of healthy energy throughout my body that caused my sicknesses. Moving into the light is the solution to my medical and relationship problems. The barriers I had built to protect me were actually stopping good things in my life and health. The vital life force can provide the elements of health for the cells of the body to function appropriately. Supportive alternative help as massage, chiropractor, and flower essences supports the flow of the vital life force to nurture my body and mind back to health.
These days, I have enough self-esteem from finding answers that I have already shared in earlier columns to rise above dysfunctional gatherings, family, or circumstances. Today, it is possible to see a bigger picture by way of understanding with compassion and forgiveness. “To heal is to make happy,” is stated in “A Course in Miracles”.
In the past, I listened to the authority around me and I was on my last legs. I was told to stay in a domestic violent marriage by the church and take the medicine by the doctor. I would not be alive today if I followed that advice. I can make myself happy and meet my own needs. This means I take responsibility for myself and respond in love for others and myself
I learned to pray daily and meditate. Prayer is raising my focus into a higher consciousness beyond the ego. Then when I am connected like tuning in on my radio into the right station, I listen. Listening for the inner voice to provide guidance, knowing, or speaking to me is what I was missing in the past. My answers now come from within instead of the insanity around me.
Listening to the silent voice inside has given me directions and assistance in numerous traumatic situations. I could write a book describing at least a dozen life-threatening experiences. These have created my trust with God that I never had before.
Applying what I hear in meditation is vital. While meditating at the ocean beach in Oregon years ago, I asked for instructions as my spouse had abandoned me at the end of our vacation. I did not like the answer at first and I asked for another one. It repeated two more times. I finally got the shock that I was to ask for a temporary separation. This was the most difficult thing to do at that time in my life. I was co-dependent and emotionally only 3 years old. I prayed continuously for courage for 24 hours to speak up when I flew home. If I had not asked for a temporary separation, I would not be writing my columns today.
One evening, I heard the inner silent voice as my husband was approaching to beat me. I was told to pray, “God forgive him, for he knows not what he does and add God bless him”. Angels held him so he could not move toward me. After praying this twice, I was escorted by angels out of the room. He walked in the other direction to watch television in the family room. He never touched me again. This taught me to pray for my foe. I found that the presence of God is the safest place to be. No one attacks love.
I ask for “Thy will be done” and apply the guidance. This means I become a channel of love for others and myself. The Father and I are one. One day, I was thrilled as I had some extra insurance money from a car repair. In meditation, I was told it was for a friend leaving town on an airplane to another state. She was traveling to receive training for a new job without any cash for food. Surprised with the answer, I did give her the money. I find doing the right thing is never wrong.
In meditation, I am connected to the beneficent spirit that created the universe and supports me in all things. I find myself as part of the Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind, or Spirit of the Universe. I am omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient. I am individualized consciousness. My new world came into view; all things work for good if you are on the spiritual path.
Currently, my abusive past is an old chapter in my history book. I now live through prayer and meditation to be a blessing to others and myself. I pray constantly to do the right next thing. With the guidance and help of a loving spirit, I act on the direction. I live without reacting to others around me, and move forward taking responsibility for my life. The genie is out of the bottle. I can be myself.
Enjoy my latest books, “Road to Success” and “Paradigm Busters, Reveal the Real You”, and my other books that are available on Amazon.com. They are inspirational and helpful. Website: angelicasgifts.com Contact me at marilyn@angelicasgifts.com.
