R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Good Tidings to All my Fans and Followers:
Today’s subject is probably one of my favorite things to discuss when it comes to dating and the glorious interaction between male and female. As the centuries and decades went flying by, we find that we are well passed the caveman days and many years beyond the women’s lib thing. Thank God women are no longer getting bashed over the head with a club and dragged home by their hair, nor are they tripping over themselves to open their own doors. We seem to be in a relatively sane state of interaction save for the few Neanderthals who insist on bragging about the lobotomy they volunteered for at birth. Sadly, it is to those few that I direct today’s column and I’m going to assume that today, there will be only two of you.
I’m quite convinced that most of you do not need any reinforcement on the subject of respect. To most, it is simply a part of our DNA and falls right into the Do Unto Others category. But to some, the simplest act of respect seems to escape them like the ever-elusive fruitfly that keeps you slapping and clapping for half a day, never landing between your palms and then showing up on your dinner plate. It is this fruitfly that is our goal today.
But in all seriousness, in many relationships, respect somehow does not make it on the list of To Do’s. And frankly, this should be a top priority because if it is Number One on your list, everything else just seems to fall in place. When you’re nice to someone, they’re nice right back atcha! And so it goes like a Merry-Go-Round, whirling and twirling and just getting happier and happier!
Let’s just name a few small areas where respect can play a big part. Fellas, if you’re going to be late, make that simple ten second phone call. You’d call a buddy to let him know you’re running late, wouldn’t you? Well, your lady friend deserves the same kind of respect. Ladies, be on time when he arrives. Don’t make the poor guy sit in the living room petting your cat and watching TV while you’re doing your two-hour thing. Start that two-hour thing two hours before he arrives!
Fellas, dress appropriately. If you’re going out for dinner, don’t show up in sneakers and a baseball cap. Ladies, dress appropriately. If you’re going out to dinner with his parents or his boss, don’t wear your best hoochie mama outfit. Fellas, don’t drink the night away and end up slobbering all over her. Ladies, don’t drink the night away, etc. etc. etc.
Don’t talk about exes. Don’t talk about your divorces. Don’t talk about your kids all night. Don’t talk about your job or business all night. Common ground is a wonderful thing, but use your head. The exceptions? If he AND she is REALLY into talking about divorces, or their kids, or their jobs, then have at it. But use common sense.
I know, I know. You’re probably thinking that I’m thinking that I’m talking to a bunch of 14 year olds. Let’s look at the positive side. I’m assuming that what I’ve mentioned above is pretty much old school to most of you. But trust me, remember, we have those two Neanderthals out there shuffling around looking for their clubs and trying to absorb my statements. With a little luck, they’ll realize that their clubs are passe’ and are trading in their animal skins for a pair of khakis.
There’s plenty going on in the world that will make great conversation without approaching any of the above subjects. Just keep talking and find your common ground. Do ask questions. Be interested in your partner for the evening. Show them there was a reason you wanted to spend time with them. And fellas, compliment, compliment, compliment! Ladies, flirt, flirt, flirt. Unfortunately, I hear a lot of people who just love to toot their horns with the proverbial, “Well, if I have to play a game, then it isn’t worth it!” People, people, people! It’s ALL a game. From your first kiss all the way down to closing the coffin. It’s what keeps romance alive! It’s what makes the world go around! It’s what keeps replenishing the planet! If you learn the game well, you will have a fabulous time of it. But R-E-S-P-E-C-T is the key component.
And remember, ITLTTC. It’s The Little Things That Count! Every once in a while I get “Just Because” flowers from hubby. When he goes to the hardware store, he brings home a little “sprise” for me, like a candy bar or a funny mug, or any little thing to just let me know that he was thinking of me. If I go shopping for clothes, I’ll pick him up a tee shirt with a funny saying on the front just to let him know that I was thinking of him. Oh, trust me, it took many years to learn these lessons. Not together, but leading up to each other we learned our lessons and learned from our mistakes so by the time we got to each other, we both had a fabulous package to present to each other. We both had our lists of do’s and don’ts. The issue was if you can fit within these perimeters of life and living that I have set up for myself, you’re in. If you can’t, you’re out. Simple. Is it because I think I am a Queen that he treats me like a Queen? Or is it because he treats me like a Queen that I think I am a Queen? Interesting questions, don’t you think? But again, the key component is RESPECT. And ladies, if you have to tattoo it on your forehead to remind your Neanderthal, I would simply hand him his club and skins and say bah bye. Fellas, if your gal pal can’t reciprocate, then she needs to run off with Mr. Neanderthal. I’m sure they will be very something together, but trust me, it ain’t gonna be happy!
All in all, Do Unto Others. Remember, karma can be a bitch! And Lord knows, it WILL find you! Next time, just a little more on this subject. So vital. So vital.
Yours Forever,
Sande D.
