It was many years ago that I was riding my boy Bit near the pasture when I noticed the three equine OAP’s who stood motionless in a corner, away from the herd. Old, arthritic, and stiff, their only movements were the occasional swishings of their tails.
“You’ll be one of them, one day, Bubby,” I remarked to Bit.
No, Kelly, I’ll always be me! he replied. His logic was faultless, even if he had missed my point. I’m afraid, though, that one day has become now.
To my regret, I’ve barely ridden Bit at all, in the past ten months or so. I had immersed myself deeply in the process of trying to find people who would be willing to donate items for The Harmony Barn’s big fund-raising gala, and it turned out to be an all-consuming process that left little time for anything else. I barely saw Bit in that time, with the very occasional exception of the odd grooming session. I hadn’t actually ridden in close to a year, and hadn’t cantered him for over two years. To say that we’re both out of shape would be an understatement. Then the gala came and went (successfully, I might add), and I determined to spend more time with my boy.
I had been increasingly concerned about his age combined with his EPM. EPM is a neurological disease with symptoms such as (but not limited to) balance issues, stumbling, incoordination, and falling, especially during the changes of seasons. For some reason, those seasonal changes really took a lot out of him, and riding during a time when his tripping and stumbling was at its peak was not only a bad idea, but a dangerous one. In addition, he often didn’t feel like being ridden, and I always respected that.
To make matters worse, stable owner Wendy announced that he now also has Cushing’s disease. Cushing’s affects the pituitary gland, and as that’s the extent of my knowledge on the subject, I submit for your consideration the following info from the ValleyVet.com website:
Also referred to as PPID (Pituitary Pars Intermedia Dysfunction), Cushing’s occurs due to a tumor or enlargement of the pituitary gland at the base of the brain, which controls body functions through hormone levels, to work overtime. This can result in many problems for horses that can last throughout their lifetime. Some 30% of horses and ponies more than 15 years old may be affected by PPID, and while this condition occurs more often in senior horses, young horses can still be at risk. PPID can often go undiagnosed, and horses as young as 5 have been confirmed to have the condition.
What are symptoms of Cushing’s in horses?
Early signs:
Change in attitude/lethargy, Decreased performance, Decreased and/or delayed shedding,
Loss of topline muscle, Abnormal sweating (increased or decreased),
Infertility, Lameness in forelimb and hindlimb, Fat deposits along the neck and tail head, Laminitis
Advanced signs:
Sluggish, decreased activity, Exercise intolerance, Excessive hair growth,
Loss of shedding, Topline muscle atrophy (prominent withers and spine, sunken shoulders), Rounded abdomen (hay belly appearance),
Increased thirst and urination, Recurrent infections (skin infections, hoof abscesses, conjunctivitis, sinusitis), Dry eye/recurrent corneal ulcers,
Increased mammary gland secretions, Fat deposits above eyes, Tendon and suspensory ligament laxity
This news was disheartening, mainly because the barn’s mascot, Jack the donkey, also has Cushing’s, and many days, his feet clearly pain him. These days, Jack walks very slowly, and sometimes, you can see that a particular hoof is hurting more than the others by watching how he places his feet as he moves. During the previous winter, Wendy told me, Jack was down more often than he was up – and that’s in spite of the fact that Wendy doses him daily with pain medication. The idea of my boy suffering the same symptoms as Jack was unfathomable: he had been so full of piss and vinegar during all the years that I’d known him. To think that he would, indeed, become one of those motionless OAP’s broke my heart. Clearly, it was time to think about hanging up my spurs.
I had already been thinking about it for a while because age was clearly getting to him. He’d lost weight. He’d developed a sway-back. He walked much slower than he used to. Indeed, in years past, he walked me, while lately, I noticed, he kept pace, no longer in any hurry to get there faster. I was o.k. with that last one, if for no other reason than that now, my arm didn’t get pulled on so much, and I was better able to control the speed of our walks. Even so, no one wants to realize that the beginning of the end is upon them.
I stood in the stable aisle, recently, discussing the matter with Wendy. She told me that Bit wasn’t eating his hay, these days, just his grain. “He’s declining fast,” she remarked, almost as an afterthought. But when I pressed her as to how much time she thought he might have left, she skirted the issue entirely, believing, as she did, that the horses understand much more than we think they do, and she didn’t want any of them overhearing, and passing unhappy news along to Bit.
“As long as he puts four hooves on the ground, I’m happy,” she said, and left it at that.
“Can I still come out and groom him, if I give up the riding lease?”
“Of course,” she answered. “Any time you want.”
“Well,” I said slowly, “I guess that’s what we’ll do.”
It was a beautiful day, that day, and if nothing else, I thought perhaps I would groom Bit and walk him up and down the drive. The walk had to do with warming up his muscles, as well as the challenge of the bumps and divots the drive featured. Those obstacles served to remind Bit to pick up his feet more often – a thing he wasn’t required to do in the mud lot or pasture, because they would otherwise cause him to stumble. In essence, it was an exercise in fighting back at the EPM symptoms. To my surprise, the lethargy that Bit had often displayed in the last six-odd months didn’t seem to be an issue that day (I didn’t realize at the time that the lethargy could well have been a symptom of the Cushing’s). So I came back the next day, which was also a very nice weather day.
The reason for the return visit had to do with what I witnessed when I released Bit back into the mud lot the day before: he went trotting around like a young buck! Well! Clearly, the Cushing’s wasn’t bothering him that day!
I figured that if he didn’t want me to put a saddle on him, he would let me know. In fact, Bit was rather famous for the fact that he always let me know when he didn’t want a saddle on him. On that second beautiful fall day, though, he seemed entirely agreeable. Go figure!
So I groomed him, and fussed over him, and gently put the saddle on his back, and very slowly cinched up the girth. Still no objection. I walked him once up and down the drive to get his muscles warmed up, and then walked him over to the mounting block. Thus began our usual routine: Bit makes numerous circuits around the block while I patiently wait for him to stop long enough for me to mount. We’ve been doing this for years. Bit doesn’t like to make anything easy for me, and I suspect that the weight that tugs the saddle laterally across his back, as I get a foot in the stirrup and swing my leg over him, might be an uncomfortable feeling for him. Consequently, I wait for an indication from him that now might be the right time to attempt to mount.
Once on his back, we did one very slow lap around the perimeter of the pasture, waylaid a volunteer to take some pictures of us (who knew if this would be the last time I ever rode him?), and then I dismounted and rewarded him with a nice crunchy apple.
This may well have been our last ride together. Winter – with its seasonal difficulties – is coming, and he’s never going to be any younger or healthier than he is right now. I realize that at this point, riding is basically a selfish act on my part, and if I’m going to be selfish, I’m going to be extremely judicious about it: Bit will ultimately decide whether he wants to be ridden or not, and, as always, I will respect his decision. Until next time!