It is with a heavy heart that TSN must report the death of columnist Kelly Meister-Yetter’s trusty steed, Bit the horse. His demise came after a relatively short illness, aged 29. He’ll be remembered as a cantankerous old git, capable of stomping on your foot and running away, both at the same time, often at breakneck speed. Always one to refuse a command, often holding out until bribes of apples were offered, one could never count on him for anything with any certainty except that, sooner or later, he would completely ignore you.
Due to the on-going nature of his disability, the neurological disease EPM, Bit was not suitable for advanced competition. Overlooking that fact entirely was his most recent lessee, Kelly Meister-Yetter, who spent considerable time trolling Etsy in search of vintage, 1950’s era, 1st Place rosettes, which were stapled to a plaque made by her increasingly-beleaguered husband. The plaque resided on the door of Bit’s stall for a number of years, prompting at least one passerby to inquire, “How old is this horse?” Ms. M-Y called Bit ‘the winningest horse who never competed!’
Ms. Meister-Yetter frequently remarked that Bit had changed her life. Never one to have a foot stomped by a thousand-pound animal, and never one to walk through a multitude of mud puddles voluntarily, Mrs. M-Y got to experience such things with surprising regularity, whether she wanted to or not. At final count, Ms. Meister-Yetter had broken, over the course of ten years, four ribs (although not all at the same time), every instance of which could be traced directly back to Bit the horse.
Bit was an accomplished horse, refusing to walk, trot, or canter with equal measure, although, after a succession of bribes, he did manage one memorable incident in which he did exactly as he was commanded to do. That day will live on in the hearts of those who loved him best, mainly Ms. Meister-Yetter, and Harmony Barn owner Wendy Simmons, who loved Bit in spite of his exasperating ways. As Ms. Simmons wrote to Ms. M-Y in a condolence card, ‘You wanted a horse that wasn’t boring – and you got him!’ Indeed! Rest in peace, you grumpy old bugger!
