Laughter then, as is reflected in the title of my latest and 10th book, “Laurie’s Bundle of Poetic Humour”, and contains no less than 76 of my “Humour Section” poems that feedback has indicated are favourites and the most popular. I think it would be a massive understatement to say that at the moment we can all do with some laughter and light relief from the bombardment of Curse Covid, spiralling fuel costs, onset of dark evenings and winter etc, etc but HEY let’s not dwell on all that, so here is my lead poem inside my “Humour Bundle Book”. So, counting the poem on back cover there are 78 poems, and at only £7.99 what fantastic Cheer Up value!
Laughter
It’s been said that if we try to laugh
The world will laugh with us too,
And I have always believed in this
So will mostly smile in all I do.
Because we must try to laugh at life
Even if we are losers or the winners.
Whether we’re tall, short or maybe thin
Or those who never missed any dinners.
But it does always seem to be the case
That a smile or good laugh is catching,
So, then it makes us feel much better
When our troubles we are despatching.
*
Talking of laughter and humour, I must mention the wonderful people on my book cover hanging off my Jesters hat in “baubles, bells or balls”, whatever you choose to call them? You may recognise my mate Mick S from previous photos, and surely the lovely Liz P of Seabreeze Cleaning & Sandra Da Silva of her Pink Spaghetti P A Services from photos as well.
The other smiling lady is no less than the sublime Sylvie Blackmore, Presenting star of BBC Radio Sussex & Surrey, who actually and kindly “volunteered” to go on my cover. You most likely have heard us talking on her excellent Sunday afternoon show, where I have happily “guested” many times recently. Thanks to all of my brave “Bauble or Ball” souls?!
Continuing the laughter theme then, but not so funny if it has happened to you, especially recently, but from my eighth book “Poetic Seeds to Fruition” (a list of all my books is at the end), comes Bogged Down.
Bogged Down
A visit to that smallest room
Where you normally go alone,
Or maybe have a secret tryst
With your precious mobile phone,
Can now be laced with dangers
That can wreak havoc on a soul,
If carelessly or without intent
You drop the mobile in the bowl.
For no matter how quickly acting
To get this important item back,
From its soaking down the toilet
And any motions you now lack,
Will not prevent serious damage
Caused by water, before unseen
And sadly now dawning on you,
For there’s nothing on the screen.
So you desperately try to save,
This minicomputer with its store
Of contacts and information,
Which unhappily show no more.
Now extreme measures are needed
Although some are not too nice,
For common myths suggests it helps
If you smother the phone with rice,
Before wrapping it up very warm
And putting it in the airing cupboard,
To hope for a little miracle of joy
A bit like Old Mother Hubbard.
But eventually with a heavy heart
You now have to accept the fate,
Of dropping the phone in the bowl
And trying to rescue it too late.
For mobile phones and toilet seats
Don’t make a very happy pair.
Thus you have learnt a hard lesson
Not to take your next one there.
Because another phone is needed
To survive in this day and age.
So ensure to take great care of it
And prevent another toilet rage.
*
Our poor mobile phones, as dear to us as diamond rings perhaps, yet we treat them with destain, lose or drop them until we realise just how reliant on them we have come to be, and to repair or replace them is expensive so take great care.
Another much ill-treated or abused commodity are our glasses, again mainly realised when it is too late, as of this next poem, called simply glasses, and again from my 8th book.
Glasses
I can’t remember the time exactly
That I had to wear glasses on my face,
And whilst admitting I didn’t want to
I put them on the required place.
For many people must succumb
To the need of help for their eyes,
And like many things in older age
It should come as no surprise.
But having glasses causes problems
If you don’t always want them on,
Because you may have varying sight
Depending on what part has gone.
Thus if only wanted for reading
You may not wear them all the time,
And just leave them lying about
Which may become a sort of crime.
For if not treating those glasses well
Perhaps leaving them on a chair,
Can have disastrous consequence
If forgetting that they’re there.
So I must admit to some failures
When taking my glasses off again,
If not needing them for a while
And thus began a habitual refrain.
For if taking them off without care
To put them in a nice safe place,
You will soon learn the little lesson
About on your face, or in a case.
Because although it was a nuisance
Going up and down like a fiddler’s arm,
If they were then tucked safely away
They couldn’t come to any harm.
So after ill-treating many glasses
That needed emergency repair,
I began to realise and understand
To treat my glasses with more care.
But I guess because I’m human
I fall into occasional disgrace,
For when all is said and done now
I don’t like them on my face.
*
The good and bad of mobile phones and glasses described in jocular and poetic mode there, but if suffering any of those misfortunes described I’m sure you’ll find that it is no laughing matter?
Just a quick reminder of some of the “fun and frolics” good old Curse Covid brought us and described in this poem from my 9th book “Our World in Verse”, with the poem called Snakes and Ladders….
Snakes and Ladders
A bit like a snakes and ladders game
With direction arrows across the floor,
To show you the designated direction
So best you don’t try to find the door,
Because that only has the one way out
Something similar to a confusing maze.
Where you wander round in confusion
And so will only end up in a daze.
For this is the world prevailing now
As we take precautions against Covid 19,
This new silent but very deadly killer
And something the world has never seen,
Because it passes from person to person
Ensuring that we all must stay apart,
As in a massive leper’s colony now
Causing absence to break any heart.
So along with many other direct orders
To keep our distance and to wear a mask,
Supermarkets also had a one way system.
That soon turned out to be quite a task,
Keeping to your own side or direction,
Especially when others don’t seem to care,
For at times we just look on in frustration
At people ahead who shouldn’t be there.
And so on and on continued the charade
With people compliant or just ambivalent,
In trying to follow the indicated route
Getting harder to see what it all meant,
In a confusion having questionable value
Whilst causing people to become quite irate,
At the floor game of noughts and crosses
Making us feel we were all in checkmate!
*
A little look back there at some of what we had to put up with and certainly hope we don’t have to go back to, but in the meantime let’s keep laughing…..
All ten of my books :–
Poetic Views of Life
More Poetic Views of Life
Reviews of Life in Verse
Life Scene in Verse
Life Presented In Verse,
Poet Reveals All (in your world).
Poet Reflects Your World
Poetic Seeds to Fruition
Our World in Verse
Laurie’s Bundle of Poetic Humour
These all ensure my donation to the excellent charity I support, promote and donate to, that being Help for Heroes.
My first 3 books are only priced £4.99 each, with my 4th and 5th bigger books at £6.99. My new 9th, 8th, 7th and sixth books, all bigger are still £9.99, while my “Best Of” 10th book is only £7.99, and are for sale on Amazon, book stores or preferably from me ………….. lw1800@hotmail.co.uk Or 07967 355236
I can now also write a “Personal Poem” for you, your family, any event or your business too…….
I also have a Facebook page “The Psychy Poet Laurie Wilkinson”, and a website:- www.lauriewilkinson.com = Please sign/join up absolutely free.
