Hello from Australia. It is great to be making connections with the people who read The Sussex Newspaper.
Although we are many miles apart there are some issues where distance is reduced to make us feel like neighbours.
One of those issues is health. And I am particularly talking about mental health.
Ten years ago I was diagnosed with severe, major, clinical depression with psychotic features. Yet I am perfectly normal. Does that sound like a contradiction? Are you thinking this woman is in denial? Let me assure you that I am not in denial. I am just your average person. Nothing special. Not a celebrity or sportsperson. Since leaving my full time career I now do casual part-time work and I also volunteer as a public speaker on issues around mental health. And I am just like many, many other people who have to live with and manage a chronic illness or who face a wide range of challenges in their daily lives.
So what makes mental illness so different? The shame. And the guilt. And the secrecy.
So many people do not seek help when they are suffering from mental illness. And without seeking help we are limiting our ability to recover. Just like with any other illness. Would you seek help if you had asthma? I think so. Would you resist taking medication? Would you feel ashamed and guilty? I don’t think so. So why do we feel these things if we have depression or anxiety?
Why is there such a stigma around mental illnesses?
Sometimes I think it is because there are no x-rays or blood tests to ‘prove’ that these illnesses exist. Although I have been told that if I had scans of my brain taken when I was at my worst that it would have ‘lit up like a Christmas tree’. I do believe that in the future there will be great advances in detecting and accurately diagnosing different mental illnesses depending on which parts of the brain are effected. I also believe that better diagnostic tools will lead to improved treatment with specific and targeted medications. At least I hope so.
We need to change our attitudes to depression and realise that people can’t just start ‘looking on the bright side’, or ‘being thankful for what they have’, or ‘try harder’ to get better.
Would you tell someone with cancer that if they just ‘look on the bright side’ they will get better? Or someone with heart disease to just ‘be thankful for what they have’? Or for someone to just ‘try harder’ to get over an asthma attack?
I suspect that in these cases most of us would seek expert medical attention. We would tell close relatives and friends and we would enlist their support. We would follow medical advice. This may mean changes in life style and also medication. It may even require aggressive intervention and hospitalisation. But we want to be well. We want to have a good quality of life. If we can’t get rid of our illnesses we want to at least manage them well and reduce their impact on our lives.
Don’t we???????
So why did I feel so guilty? And why did I feel such terrible shame? And why did I feel such debilitating guilt?
There are lots of reasons.
A big reason was lack of knowledge. Lack of knowledge about mental illness. Lack of knowledge of the resources available. Lack of knowledge of anyone with personal experience of mental illness. Lack of knowledge of how to get knowledge!!!
When I thought of people with mental illness I mostly thought of the homeless people I saw who seemed to talk to themselves or shout at strangers walking by. I thought of people with addictions. I thought of people who were socially or economically disadvantaged. I thought of people who were uneducated. I thought of people who were unemployed.
I am so ashamed of these thoughts. So very ashamed. But I try not to be too harsh with myself. I tell myself that I didn’t know any better. And until I knew better, I couldn’t do better.
Now I know better. And I do better. Which is why I now share my story. My story that for such a long time was shrouded in secrecy. In the hope that by raising awareness we will learn more. And you will get to know the personal experiences of someone with a mental illness. So you can say now that you know someone with a mental illness. She is pretty normal. She is well educated. She had a long and successful career. She has a mortgage. And a family. And friends. She is NOT her mental illness. She is just like you or your friend or your neighbour.
So you are already one step ahead of where I was. Because you know someone with a mental illness. And over future columns you will get to know me well. We will get to talk about symptoms and treatments, causes and triggers, support and resources. And anything else you would like to know. Please feel free to email me at kazsynnott@gmail.com with any feedback or comments. I want this column to be as helpful and relevant as possible so I need to hear from you.
You can also find my blog at www.writestrong.blogspot.com.au It would be wonderful if you could share this blog address on your Facebook page or any other social media. The more people who are part of this conversation the better. The more we can educate. The more we can reduce the stigma. And please know that this conversation can improve and even save lives. I know because it already has.
But this is exactly what I said. It is MY story. And I am not an expert. I am not a professional. I would encourage anyone with any concerns about themselves or someone they care about to seek professional support. Go to your doctor. Share how you are feeling. Because there is help out there.
And remember that depression and mental illness are not a sign of weakness.
Sometimes they are a sign of having stayed strong for too long.
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