by Dr Deborah Lee, Dr Fox Online Pharmacy
Image by Holger Langmaier from Pixabay
https://pixabay.com/photos/man-depressed-sitting-on-the-floor-2734073/
Depression is a serious illness that greatly reduces both the quality and quantity of life. Severe depression reduces life expectancy by 10-20 years, which is even worse than the effects of cigarette smoking. Despite this, stopping smoking has received far more Public Health support and funding than depression.
How common is depression in men?
Men are slightly less likely to suffer from depression than women. 4% of the male population is depressed as compared to 6% of females. However, these statistics may be an underestimate because men are far less likely to admit depression and come forward for help. It’s a sad fact that the suicide rate in men is three times higher than in women. 75% of suicides every year occur in men, most commonly between the ages of 50 to 54.
Why is depression different in men?
Depression is different in men for the following reasons –
Men are less likely to discuss their feelings
Although 35.2% of men suffer from some kind of mental health problem in their lifetime, 40% never discuss how they are feeling with friends or family, or a health professional.
Men feel they need to hide their feelings and ‘man up’
We tend to expect the man to be the hunter-gatherer and the breadwinner and men feel the need to meet this stereotypical role. They also feel it isn’t masculine to admit their feelings when they are depressed, and internalise their emotions, not wanting to talk to anyone. They ‘man up’ they often manage to hide their feelings. All too often, their depression is kept well hidden, and no one knows until it is too late.
The top stressors for depression are work issues (32%), financial problems (31%) and health concerns (23%).
Triggers for depression in men
Depression may be triggered by a major life event such as a relationship breakdown, divorce, or bereavement. There may be a history of underlying childhood neglect or emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Sometimes, a physical illness such as heart disease, diabetes, Parkinson’s Disease, or cancer can lead to depression. When a person is depressed, symptoms of physical illness can seem worse, and any disease is harder to cope with.
Men cope differently with depression
Typically, men throw themselves into their work or use other distraction tactics to avoid facing up to how they are feeling. They may also be drinking and/ or smoking more heavily. They may stop joining in and withdraw from social events with friends and family. People may notice personality changes, mood swings, or work absences. It’s imperative to intercept if a man is showing suicidal tendencies before they take any action.
What are the symptoms of depression in men?
Men may feel
- Low mood, unhappy, may be tearful
- Agitated, restless and have a short fuse
- Guilty, lacking in self-worth
- Empty, numb and without emotions
- They can’t engage with or relate to other people
- They are not getting pleasure from things they used to enjoy
- Angry, and easily frustrated by small things
- Low confidence and a low self-esteem
- Life is unreal and they are not part of it
- Hopelessness and despair
- Tired all the time
They may do the following
- Stop joining in with social events
- Self-harming
- Seem muddled, unable to think clearly
- Indecisive
- Loss of interest in sex
- Smoking or drinking more than usual
- Insomnia or sleeping all the time
- Loss of appetite, weight loss, or the opposite, eating too much and putting on weight
- Complain of muscles or joint pains with no obvious cause
- Have slow movements, or appear restless and agitated
Depression and anxiety often coexist. Anxiety causes restlessness, trouble with concentration and insomnia.
How to help a man with depression
Below is a list of options for how to go about helping yourself, or anyone you know, who is suffering from depression –
Get information
If you are worried about a man with depression, first get informed. Read up as much as you can about the condition information is power. MIND has an excellent web page – click here.
Communicate with him
Find a quiet time to raise the subject and ask how he is feeling. It’s important to really listen to what he has to say – hearing is different from listening. Don’t be critical or accusatory. Perhaps say “I’m worried about you, what can I do to help?”
Broach the issue of suicide
If you think he could be suicidal you should broach the subject and ask him. Just inviting him to open up about his darkest fears will really help unburden him and may well help avert a crisis.
Encourage him to seek help
Encourage him to go for help. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. You could make the appointment for him with his GP, and go with him if he would like you to.
If he won’t go for help, you need to keep tabs on him. The next best thing you can do is try to get him to join in with hobbies, activities and social events – to keep him connected.
Call the Samaritans
If he is in urgent need of help, he can call The Samaritans free of charge, 24/7 on 116 123.
Online help for depression
Suggest he looks online, for example, MIND has an excellent website about self-help for depression.
Treatments for depression
Depression is treated by counselling/talking therapies which can be one-to-one or group therapy sessions, In-patient treatment if needed, and antidepressant medication. If alcohol or drugs are a problem, he may need addiction therapy.
Mindfulness, meditation and cognitive behavioural therapy CBT are all effective in improving depressive symptoms. Anyone can self-refer for NHS talking therapies – click here.
Peer support
He may like to tap into peer support, through groups, forums and helplines, such as SANE and CALM websites, or Side by Side, Mind’s supportive online community. He can contact Mind’s Infoline and find out about support groups near where he lives.
Help for those with depression at work
There may be counselling or support available at his place of work. He might like to find out more about The Department of Work and Pensions Access to Work Mental Health Support Service. Mind also has some very valuable online Workplace support. The NHS has its own Staff and Mental Health Wellbeing Hubs.
Mental Health apps
He may find the following mental health apps useful, for example, Headspace and Calm. An alternative is Peppy, an employee wellness app. Men can be introduced to other initiatives that operate outside of work, such as Andy’s Man Club, The Men’s Shed Association and The Mankind Project UK and Ireland.
Looking after his physical health
He must look after his physical health, eating a healthy diet and getting plenty of sleep and exercise.
Developing hobbies and pastimes
He also needs to have a hobby or interest to keep him meaningfully occupied and give him a sense of purpose. Anything will do, but volunteering is an excellent option. Volunteering involves kindness to other people. Being kind is hugely beneficial for our self-confidence and self esteem.
Final thoughts
We can’t afford to ignore depression in men – it results in reduced productivity at work, unemployment, relationship breakdown and poor physical health. Somehow, we need to break the stigma of depression in men and get them to open up and accept help. This blog post contains many options/starting points for help.
If you, or someone you care about, is suffering from depression, what steps could you take to help yourself or to help someone else?
Can we make 2024 a better year for men suffering from depression?
